Phase One- Nerdy from Outside – Low self confidence
“Hey move aside fat boy, dont block the way?”…… errrrr… “Hey there teacher’s pet”…. students tease me every time in the bus or in school….. “When will this Stop?” “Why did God make me ugly?” “Why did God make me good in Studies, why can’t I be like them so that they like me?”
This was most of my early Schooling years. Anyone who has kenned me in the past couple of years would never imagine how my childhood could be so different and contrary to what I am today. Born to an average middle class family all that mattered to my parents at that time was I always get plenery marks in my exams.
But what will a kid want? All that I wanted to do then was to hang out with other kids who are having fun. I didn’t want to be a Nerd or my teacher’s favorite student! I wanted to talk to girls confidently like other kids did. But nothing seemed to work out well for me. To add to my woes I started putting on weight when I was twelve years old and it felt like God was so unkind to me albeit I prayed to him every morning, attended the mass almost every day with my parents, but still all that he did was make my life worse than it was the previous day. Gradually the bulling had incremented and so did my weight. The only thing that was decrementing was my communication with fellow human beings and my Confidence.
I used to love playing football when I was six, but now nobody wants to play with me, or rather I was too trepidacious to ask them if I could join. I cannot recall how many times I felt like I should end it all, so many times I felt like I should give up on studies and be akin to other kids who happy with minimal marks in exams and have a great life otherwise. I wanted to be accepted, wanted to have fun with other kids, wanted to have a girlfriend, dress cool like everyone else, have a cool hairstyle. I never thought my life would transmute. All that I knew back then was this is what it is and I have to live this way.
I tried to tell my parents about my problems but they would not understand. The only response I would get was they had a arduous time growing up due to lack of facilities and financial hardships and I am very lucky that they have given me all the comforts and the least I can do is excel in the field of education. They did not seem to understand the emotional turmoil that I was going through. Little did I know what life had in store for me after I turned fifteen….
These quandaries are prevalent and probably most of you must have felt something similar while growing up if not the same. Life as we know it isn’t always fair and especially as kids we are generally not prepared to face these difficult situations that our circumventions can throw at us. What can kids do when there is no one to go to? Kids are entering depression at a very tender age. As fellow human beings, as parents or as elder siblings are we trying to understand the pain today’s kids are in? These children will either build up a lot of anger inside of them and enter a risk of channelizing it in wrong way or will enter a abyss of narcotics to forget all the problems that they face.
In today’s time where information is readily available at our fingertips kids are most likely get inspired by things that they do not understand. My fellow readers I urge you to share your thoughts about the article and also please do let me know what I could have done to change things back then and what are your views on how to help kids in need today. Your thoughts will definitely help me counsel kids who are going through similar situations.